There was a time in my life where everything was absolutely chaotic and changed relationships I knew – some for the better, some for the worse.
During that period, I was constantly in self-pity mode and victimized myself till no end. Family and friends who followed me on Twitter then probably remembered that period.
It went on for a really long time.
Then a friend got married and I asked if she planned on having any children.
She answered, something to the effect of,
Her words hit me hard.
How I could scare my own peers, who wanted children, into not wanting to have children really freaked me out! I never knew my words of anger and frustration would affect someone so much!
I went to look back at some of my older posts, just to see how frightening it was, and I got angry. Not of who I became, but of those particular issues that got me angry enough to tweet about. I was instantly reminded of the crap that went down and it made my normal day horrible.
![](http://www.thequotepedia.com/images/69/where-there-is-anger-there-ise-always-pain-underneath.jpg)
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That’s when I realize… Bad things are easy to remember for me. I don’t seek revenge or anything, but I remember.
What I have trouble remembering, though, are the good things that happen to me.
![](http://www.mactoons.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/anger-and-the-good-things-quote-in-this-day-anger-quotes-about-life-and-romance-930x930.jpg)
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I started to pick myself back up and tried to change my mindset. Tried to be more positive towards my life.
During this process, I actively shared happier photos, words of encouragement (mostly to remind myself), hilarious and other feel good stuff – stuff that I love reading online to make my bad days better.
![](http://i1064.photobucket.com/albums/u373/growingupwithblake/before%2028/before28-01_zpsvjseu6xe.jpg)
Gradually, life became less miserable. Things started to come together and I had more positive than negative thoughts.
Friends noticed the change and text me, saying they are happy to see my life coming around! It was an amazing feeling!
![](http://i1064.photobucket.com/albums/u373/growingupwithblake/before%2028/before28-02_zpsrmamikme.jpg)
And we became pregnant again!
Lest some of you think that’s my happily ever after, it’s not.
I still have my bad days and I still rant. I just try to limit my audience of such abuse to selected friends. Haha!
Sometimes, I let slip and it finds its way onto Facebook. Sometimes, when I realize what I’ve done, I delete it.
That’s how I want to live my life. Focus on the positive, do my best to delete the negative.
![](http://i1064.photobucket.com/albums/u373/growingupwithblake/before%2028/before28-04_zpsq6niitvw.jpg)
You could argue that I’m putting myself in a bubble and not facing up to reality. Say what you want, but I personally believe that a happy life is far more important than certain realities I choose to ignore or leave behind. Some of these realities are not within my control anyway, so why waste time pondering over it and have it affect my life, right?
![](http://i1064.photobucket.com/albums/u373/growingupwithblake/before%2028/before28-05_zpsvxtiuz23.jpg)
I’m definitely not a perfect person, but I do my best to remember that my life is pretty much perfect… Even if it’s in a selected perspective!
![](http://i1064.photobucket.com/albums/u373/growingupwithblake/osim%20tvc/osim4_zpsjtoub2v1.jpg)
P.s. The friend mentioned above welcomed her baby this year. As did many of my friends! Yay!